I am aware that it does nothing to place a problem or a bunch of issues on the table if we are not provided tools in which to work on them. People, me included seem to be a bit lost. I never heard or learned this until I was an adult, but this is a good rule to know. I used to work for the Army…not as a soldier but as a civilian. It was difficult work sometimes and more than likely my boss was a military officer. Now Army officers are different from ordinary people. But more unique in this breed were the Warrant Officers. I learned a lot from them. So, here’s something you can put in your tool box for caring.
If you bring me a problem, bring me a solution.
Let’s talk on this a bit. I don’t know about you, but I can walk outside my front door and sooner or later I will see a problem. It is the same with children. We need only look at the lines of children waiting for the school bus to come. Are they dressed appropriately? Are they standing with the group or on their own? Are they smiling and laughing or do they appear tired? You could come up with any number of answers for these questions. Now, what if the child is yours. Now, are you more tuned in for the answers to those questions? I think parents have gotten a collective judgement on their child raising skills. Collective because we only remember the horrible parent…and the minute we see a child acting up…”It’s the parent’s fault!” Here lies the first problem….blaming parents for everything their children do wrong. Remember when you were a kid? Did your parent teach you right from wrong? I bet, some of us still chose to do the wrong sometimes. How is that the parent’s fault? Well, somebody has to be responsible, right?
Solution: Stop blaming anyone!
It doesn’t deal with the problem. I recall saying that if the fire department came to your house because it was on fire but instead of putting out the fire…decided that they must decide “blame” first….what happens to the house? Well, not a happy ending at all.
I will leave you to ponder this for awhile. Look around and see if you can identify “problems” and come up with possible “solutions”. I will continue to share tools from my tool box that I have picked up along my journey. You are definately going to need to fill up your tool box so that you too can be empowered to help give a voice to a child or perhaps even help them write their own story. It’s a process. Won’t happen over night, but I believe that when you know better, you do better.